To England My Dear,
You grey, drizzly, cold son of a bitch. My ship accidentally crashed upon your pebble ridden shores and now my mind is clouded, bewildered. Hypnotized by your beautiful sirens and their enchanting song. I've tried to break free, to escape only to be lost at sea. I spent two years in the devastatingly bitter storms of the Atlantic Ocean. Lost, confused and... frightened. Only to wake finding myself lay choking upon your salty beach. I have realised you wont let me go and some how I am happy to stay. I have built myself a small cottage over looking the sea so I may dream of a different life. Warmer perhaps... dry, sunny and joyful.
But now it is many years on and that life feels so far away, distant, as if it were never meant to be. I have grown to love your stony shore, the icy chill of the summer winds and the entrancing hymn of your lady sirens. No, I will not plan to escape again as I know I will but find myself waking upon the bosom of the beast once more. Insanity is said to be doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, I have never fancied myself insane... and an asylum would be far more difficult to build than a cottage.
Saturday 14 May 2011
Wednesday 17 November 2010
Why Dedicate My Life To Art? The Pros…
Last night I watched a BBC documentary on Ai Weiwei. Born in Bejieng, mind fucked in New York during the 1980s and finally after his return to China the line between artist and activist began to blur. I stared at the TV wide eyed, unblinking, mouth hung half open as it was possibly one of the most fascinating things I have watched in a very long time. Not because the documentary was made in any particularly interesting fashion, but because I was watching a man who has turned his life, emotions, passions and inner most thoughts into these perfectly crafted pieces of perfection.
Following this I began to give thought to existentialism. Does it affect my life? Does it affect those around me? Am I able to surround my life in art of even drown myself in it?
Søren Kierkegaard a 19th century philosopher, posthumously regarded as the father of existentialism, maintained that the individual is solely responsible for giving ones own life meaning and for living that life passionately and sincerely, in spite of many existential obstacles and distractions including despair, angst, absurdity, alienation, and boredom.
Speaking from my own experiences, a day job, having to smile and nod at general people droning on about top forty R&B, receiving blank stares at the mere mention of any music pre-1945, literature that comes with a hard back or modern art that isn’t Hirst, Warhol or Banksy makes me experience despair, angst, alienation and boredom. If I were to live my life passionately and with sincerity I would fill my life to the brim with art. It is the only thing that makes me feel… welcome… embraced… passionate and well… whole.
Everyone’s passions in life greatly vary of course so each person’s pursuit of a meaningful life would come through vastly differing actions. Some are passionate about money and possessions. Some, love and the great search it comes with. Many, the pursuit of life’s meaning itself the ultimate chase and some (including myself) simply beauty, art and well perfection. I’m not a “perfectionist” necessarily as anyone who knows me can vouch for but I can never understand the acceptance of mediocrity when you can have excellence, the norm when you can have the outrageous, Beyonce when you can have Joplin, Mia Zapata or Karen O… PUSH THE BOUNDARIES.
Following this I began to give thought to existentialism. Does it affect my life? Does it affect those around me? Am I able to surround my life in art of even drown myself in it?
Søren Kierkegaard a 19th century philosopher, posthumously regarded as the father of existentialism, maintained that the individual is solely responsible for giving ones own life meaning and for living that life passionately and sincerely, in spite of many existential obstacles and distractions including despair, angst, absurdity, alienation, and boredom.
Speaking from my own experiences, a day job, having to smile and nod at general people droning on about top forty R&B, receiving blank stares at the mere mention of any music pre-1945, literature that comes with a hard back or modern art that isn’t Hirst, Warhol or Banksy makes me experience despair, angst, alienation and boredom. If I were to live my life passionately and with sincerity I would fill my life to the brim with art. It is the only thing that makes me feel… welcome… embraced… passionate and well… whole.
Everyone’s passions in life greatly vary of course so each person’s pursuit of a meaningful life would come through vastly differing actions. Some are passionate about money and possessions. Some, love and the great search it comes with. Many, the pursuit of life’s meaning itself the ultimate chase and some (including myself) simply beauty, art and well perfection. I’m not a “perfectionist” necessarily as anyone who knows me can vouch for but I can never understand the acceptance of mediocrity when you can have excellence, the norm when you can have the outrageous, Beyonce when you can have Joplin, Mia Zapata or Karen O… PUSH THE BOUNDARIES.
Tuesday 20 July 2010
I Sold My Soul To The Devil and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt
I sold my soul to the devil for a permanent residence and a steady pay check and all I have to do for it is endlessly tend to vain women’s neurosis. You would think the swap wouldn’t be worth it, but you’d be surprised how good one gets at the old “smile and nod” approach.
As of two weeks from now my permanent residence comes in the form of an adorably bohemian little English house, complete with a hot and cold faucet in every sink, a radiator in every room, a near by high street and all. To be honest I’m really excited to officially be a fully functioning and contributing member of society! No longer will I be here “indefinitely” or until the next cold front. Even the homemaker within is planning how I’ll decorate each room (a little Klimt in the dinning room, a little B&W photography for the bedroom…) and which corner I could fit the massive wine rack in. I like to keep enough red wine on hand to fill a bath tub.
So the puzzle of an American girl’s English life begins to come together. Career, although not quite what I’m ultimately going for will do for the moment. Home, really couldn’t be better. Social life, erm… it’s creeping by. And lastly a love life, now this is the interesting one (isn’t it always). There seem to be an unlimited amount of vapid young men asking me out. The lack of interest in all things that have nothing to with their latest hair product or who won the last football match is an unattractive quality to say the least. Guns, bitches and bling were never a part of the elements and never will be… thanks Le Sac. So for all of you guys that are casual and interesting, enjoy the occasional conversation about film, music or art and have ever in your life read a book that is referred to as literature or the author has been dead for over forty years… please don’t be shy asked the girl out. She’s most likely just rolling her eyes until you come along.
Inspirations Of The Day:
Music - Miles Davis
Book - Anais Nin, Delta of Venus Erotica (erotica for the 60's... )
Drink - Red Wine
As of two weeks from now my permanent residence comes in the form of an adorably bohemian little English house, complete with a hot and cold faucet in every sink, a radiator in every room, a near by high street and all. To be honest I’m really excited to officially be a fully functioning and contributing member of society! No longer will I be here “indefinitely” or until the next cold front. Even the homemaker within is planning how I’ll decorate each room (a little Klimt in the dinning room, a little B&W photography for the bedroom…) and which corner I could fit the massive wine rack in. I like to keep enough red wine on hand to fill a bath tub.
So the puzzle of an American girl’s English life begins to come together. Career, although not quite what I’m ultimately going for will do for the moment. Home, really couldn’t be better. Social life, erm… it’s creeping by. And lastly a love life, now this is the interesting one (isn’t it always). There seem to be an unlimited amount of vapid young men asking me out. The lack of interest in all things that have nothing to with their latest hair product or who won the last football match is an unattractive quality to say the least. Guns, bitches and bling were never a part of the elements and never will be… thanks Le Sac. So for all of you guys that are casual and interesting, enjoy the occasional conversation about film, music or art and have ever in your life read a book that is referred to as literature or the author has been dead for over forty years… please don’t be shy asked the girl out. She’s most likely just rolling her eyes until you come along.
Inspirations Of The Day:
Music - Miles Davis
Book - Anais Nin, Delta of Venus Erotica (erotica for the 60's... )
Drink - Red Wine
Tuesday 6 July 2010
Guns, bitches and bling were never a part of the four elements and never will be...
Thou Shalt Always Kill...
Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile... Some people are just nice.Thou shalt not read NME.Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular.Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.Thou shalt not judge a book by it's cover.Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend's best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants. Use it to get into their heads.Thou shalt not watch Hollyokes.Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it's done just because you've finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you're never gonna fucking talk to.Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.The Beatles... Were just a band.Led Zepplin... Just a band.The Beach Boys... Just a band.The Sex Pistols... Just a band.The Clash... Just a band.Crass... Just a band.Minor Threat... Just a band.The Cure... Just a band.The Smiths... Just a band.Nirvana... Just a band.The Pixies... Just a band.Oasis... Just a band.Radiohead... Just a band.Bloc Party... Just a band.The Arctic Monkeys... Just a band.The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries.Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.Thou shalt not pimp my ride.Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.When I say "Hey" thou shalt not say "Ho".When I say "Hip" thou shalt not say "Hop".When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise... kill me.Thou shalt not quote me happy.Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like me.Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix" P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying "Is it".Thou shalt think for yourselves.And thou shalt always... Thou shalt always kill!
Dan Le Sac
Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile... Some people are just nice.Thou shalt not read NME.Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular.Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.Thou shalt not judge a book by it's cover.Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend's best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants. Use it to get into their heads.Thou shalt not watch Hollyokes.Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it's done just because you've finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you're never gonna fucking talk to.Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.The Beatles... Were just a band.Led Zepplin... Just a band.The Beach Boys... Just a band.The Sex Pistols... Just a band.The Clash... Just a band.Crass... Just a band.Minor Threat... Just a band.The Cure... Just a band.The Smiths... Just a band.Nirvana... Just a band.The Pixies... Just a band.Oasis... Just a band.Radiohead... Just a band.Bloc Party... Just a band.The Arctic Monkeys... Just a band.The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries.Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.Thou shalt not pimp my ride.Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.When I say "Hey" thou shalt not say "Ho".When I say "Hip" thou shalt not say "Hop".When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise... kill me.Thou shalt not quote me happy.Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like me.Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix" P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying "Is it".Thou shalt think for yourselves.And thou shalt always... Thou shalt always kill!
Dan Le Sac
Thursday 1 July 2010
Where the women are all beautiful and the children are all above average
So according to Swami Vivekananda "We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act." I feel like this is very poignant to my life in the UK right now. If I know what I want and what I want my life here to be, with focus I can make it just that. It’s like I've got a big, dirty, mangled piece of drift wood and I can just chip away all the bark (shit weather), moss (creepy accents), and excess wood (dodgy neighbourhoods, odd British humour, blank stares from anyone around anytime I open my mouth, etc) and be left with a beautiful monument (completely substantial lifestyle). Jesus Christ this just might work! Good on ya Swami.
Inspirations of the Day:
Film – Thirst (Korean vamp flick)
Music – Pixies, where is my mind (depicts how I feel most of the time)
Drink – Jameson 1780 (it just takes me back)
Where I’d Rather Be – Jayne Doe tattoo studio, Essex (to put it plainly… it’s DOPE)
Inspirations of the Day:
Film – Thirst (Korean vamp flick)
Music – Pixies, where is my mind (depicts how I feel most of the time)
Drink – Jameson 1780 (it just takes me back)
Where I’d Rather Be – Jayne Doe tattoo studio, Essex (to put it plainly… it’s DOPE)
Wednesday 30 June 2010
An American Girl in.... Birmingham???
Moving from California to Birmingham in the UK has been a BITCH and a mind FUCK to say the least. I'm now going into year number two in the UK and have made a commitment to myself to stick it out. After living in Washington, Nevada, Texas, Oregon, California, Prague, Malta, England, California (again) and finally England (AGAIN) I figure I'll never be able to make a life for myself unless I stay put. This blog is the diary of an American girl, an artist and a general outsider. Lets see if I descent into madness during the brutal winter to come OR if I can finally make a life for myself (that includes career life, love life and social life) in this respectfully mediocre city.
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